If you’re in a hard season right now, I want you to hear this before anything else: you are not alone, even if it feels like you are.

I know that feeling well.

After my divorce, I fell for someone I believed was the love of my life. He was my person. I was his person, or at least I thought I was. Then I found out he had been cheating.

I felt like I had ruined my whole life. I was lost, confused and betrayed. I didn’t recognize myself anymore, and I had no idea what I wanted out of life.

I kept asking myself how I didn’t see it. I was so hard on myself. But I couldn’t see then what I know now. I loved someone with my whole heart, and that is nothing to be ashamed of. His choices were never a reflection of my worth.

When I pulled away

My divorce had already cost me a lot of friendships. So when that relationship came along, I made it my whole world. When it fell apart, I was standing in the wreckage almost by myself.

I stepped away from social media because I was in a really dark place.

I didn’t want anyone to see me like that. I was scared of being judged, scared of being too much, scared people would think I couldn’t get it together. So I hid. And hiding only made it lonelier.

But thankfully, a few friends were there to help me. They never judged my choices or my decisions. They just wanted me to be happy. I will never forget that.

The day I stopped hiding

Eventually, I opened up and shared that I was struggling with my mental health and my breakup. My inbox flooded.

Woman after woman reached out about her own relationship, her own breakup, her own separation. Every age. Every stage of life. That was the moment I understood how many of us are carrying the same quiet pain, each of us sure we’re the only one.

It broke my heart that so many women were hurting. And at the same time, it was the biggest relief to know I wasn’t the only one.

It changed me. I started doing the real healing work, and I started my podcast for women who wanted to heal and find healthy love.

Healing didn’t happen overnight, and it wasn’t a straight line. Some days I felt strong. Some days I felt like I was right back at the beginning. But little by little, I started trusting myself again. That was the biggest thing I had to rebuild. Not my trust in a man. My trust in me.

The messages still come. Women tell me they don’t feel heard or seen in their relationships. They tell me they feel alone. Some are in the middle of a divorce or a separation and can’t see any light at the end of the tunnel.

If that’s you, know this: loneliness is common, even when it tells you that you’re the only one.

I thought I had ruined my whole life. I hadn’t. That heartbreak didn’t end my story. It started a new chapter. The woman I didn’t recognize back then? I know her now, and I really like her.

A circle of women who get it

Healing is so much easier when you don’t have to do it alone, when you have women around you who understand, who don’t judge, and who want good things for you.

That is exactly what I’m creating in my group. It’s a community for my paid subscribers, a place to be honest, feel supported and grow together.

I’m calling it The Inner Circle. No one in there will tell you to just get over it. You can share your story, or just read along until you’re ready. It’s brand new, and I’m building it with you.

You can join here.

Join the group

If the free letters are what you need right now, that’s okay too. You belong here either way.

And if you’re still in the dark part, hold on. There are flowers you haven’t seen yet and mornings you haven’t woken up to.

If it feels too heavy to carry, please don’t carry it alone. Tell someone you trust, or talk to a counselor. Reaching out is how I found my way back.

I’m still growing too. But I’m not hiding anymore, and you don’t have to either.

Keep going, babes. I’m proud of you.

Tell me in the comments: what are you going through right now? I read every single one.

Light + Love
Amanda 🤍

I Thought I Had Ruined My Whole Life